Reading the new EliteFitness.com steroid profiles is like being bukakked with stupid
When I received word that EliteFitness.com had recently added a profiles forum, I just had to check it out. I’d like to go through each of them and point out just how terribly inaccurate they are, but I don’t have that kind of time. Just take my word for it…the profiles section on EliteFitness.com is approximately 40-60% incorrect. If you’re reading my blog, you can likely go through them and figure out where they’re incorrect. I also don’t have the time to go through them and point out the spelling errors (of which there were many) nor the grammatical problems (of which there were even more). But I will go through the more obvious mistakes made in some of the profiles….
Admittedly, I read them with my hands mostly covering my face, as if I were watching a horror movie. Which turned out to be a good move…I was embarrassed BY the lack of research evident in the work, and I was embarrassed FOR whoever wrote them. But just for kicks, and mostly ignoring the grammar issues, typos, and spelling mistakes, I thought I’d go through each profile briefly and point out the major errors in them.
At the header of some profiles is the following:
Chemical Name:
Drug Class:
And those two categories, found in certain headers, are exactly identical with the header of the similar profile found on ISteroids.com – all of which were written by me. They’re verbatim, copy/pasted directly off ISteroids.com, and inserted into the profiles for EliteFitness.com in many cases – in other cases, they’re completely nonsensical (*i.e. Dianabol just says “The Ultimate Powerbooster” – whatever the f*ck that means….). Many of the profiles are rewritten versions of my work, or other profiles you can find on the ‘net. It’s obvious where different profiles were cannabalized into the EF profiles, because you can see how sentences were awkwardly combined, and words were changed. Not one bit of original research or work went into these profiles, and you can honestly see that they were directly stolen from Isteroids.com, Steroid.com, Bodybuilding.com, and a few other sources.
Halotestin‘s profile says that it – “rarely aromatizes” and exibits “weak androgenic effects”….which is completely false. It NEVER aromatizes, and is a highly androgenic steroid. The dosage reccomendations are lifted directly from my work: “It is recommended that dosage of Halotestin be kept at 40mg a day for 4-6weeks. For purposes of added aggression keep the dosage at 10mg before workout.” – note that these reccommendations are very different from Llewellyn’s, as published in his book…they are EXACLTY the ones I make, down to the duration and dose. Later, within the same profile, it provides contradictory dosing information, stating: “Doses should be kept at 20-30mg orally.” – didn’t anyone proofread this f*cking thing?
Masteron: The dosage reccommendations are 100% the same as found in my first book, and online at Steroid.com: “350-500mg/week” for the propionate ester, and 400-600mgs/week of the Enanthate ester.
Testosterone: Here, EliteFitness.com decided to show their true lack of knowledge by saying to start “newbies with doses around 500mg a week. Any dose beyond that can overload your androgen receptors.” – overload your androgen receptors? That myth is long, long, long gone – and was never true. Well done, EF.
Trenbolone gives us this chestnut: “Trenbolone is one of the more popular and favored of all the anabolic steroids. Its parent steroid is Parabolan” I don’t know what a parent steroid is, but since all Parabolan contains Trenbolone, but not vice-versa, wouldn’t that make Tren the parent steroid? Shockingly, when you read the profile on Parabolan, it says the exact opposite “Since the parent steroid of Parabolan is trenbolone…” the profiles are not only terribly written, but internally inconsistent.
Anadrol offers us the following portion, stolen directly from my work, saying: “Oxymetholene is one of the few steroids where the dose respondent curve flattens out very quickly.” – which is lifted verbatim from my Anadrol profile, except they substituted the chemical name (Oxymetholone) for the trade name (Anadrol). Continuing to say “This particular oral steroid is available in the in the form of capsules, tablets liquid and even paper.” – which again is almost verbatim from my profile on that same drug. It ends, once again, with an almost complete copy/paste of my work, stating “You can find a variation in prices too which heavily depends on various factors, including the form you are buying and the region where you live” – which, of course, was a bad attempt at rewriting my words “…Prices will vary and be indicative of many different factors, including the form in which you buy the compound…and where you live.” Also, I’d like to point out that the name of the drug is “Oxymetholone” not “Oxymetholene“- as the profile consistently misspells the name of the actual drug it’s purported to be informing the reader about. This is doubly funny, as they’ve chosen to take my work and change one word per sentence (in many instances), and when they’ve replaced the word, they’ve failed at spelling the replacement correctly.
Equipoise offers us this tasty tidbit of nonsensical writing: “For all those who want to increase the size their chest and biceps or are preparing for awaited bodybuilding competitions, Equipoise can be a good addition to their stack.” – what the F*ck? Why would EQ increase your chest or biceps size? Then it says: “The basic nature of Equipoise includes features of two. First it is as anabolic as testosterone, and second it acts as an androgenic steroid.” – what, in the name of sh*ts sake, does this mean? Honestly, I can’t even figure out what it’s supposed to be saying. For dosage reccommendations, EF tells us “If you are taking the injectable form then a dose of between 400 and 600 mgs for men and 50-150mgs for women per week is quite sufficient. – again, these are my exact reccommendations, lifted directly from my first book and the profiles on Steroid.com. Gee…I hope you’re taking the injectable form of this steroid, since that’s all it’s currently available in. The most distressing part of this profile was the flat-out dangerous advice given to women “there is no occurrence of virilization symptoms with this steroid. So, female athletes can use it without any fears.” – this is dangerous advice, and completely incorrect.
Clenbuterol starts off with the awkward “This lipolytic (fat burn) is favorable for both for men and women because of its quick fat and calorie reduction properties.” I don’t get it. Clen reduces calories? There’s also some grammar issues there, which I won’t get into, because the entire profiles forum is rife with incredibly poor writing. “But today Clenbuterol is well popular among the common masses.” – well popular? Huh?
Nolvadex, shockingly tells us “But the most important fact to remind is especially for athletes. If you are taking steroids… then please be careful about whether or not to use Nolvadex, as it has moderate anabolic effect.” Huh? I can’t even figure out what this is supposed to mean, aside of the fact that it is wildly inaccurate.
Parabolan, hilariously states: “Since the parent steroid of Parabolan is trenbolone, it is a potent anabolic androgenic steroid. Some users have reported on experiencing side effects due to its strong anabolic and androgenic characteristics. One these is sexual dysfunction that reduces the sex drive. This is attributed t0 Parabolan being a progestin. Because of this characteristic, it binds strongly to the female hormone progesterone.” - too bad it doesn’t “bind to progesterone” at all. It’s a progestin, so it acts like progesterone, it certainly doesn’t bind to it. And didn’t the Trenbolone profile tell us that Parabolan was it’s parent steroid? Why the reversal?
Winstrol purports: “Winstrol and Winstrol Depot are the commercial names of Stanozolol, which was developed in 1962 by Winthrop Laboratories. It is a well-known synthetic anabolic steroid that is derived from testosterone.” – as a point of fact, when we talk about derivations of steroids, Winstrol is well known to be derived from Dihydrotestosterone, not testosterone. Paradoxically, this mistake is contradicted in the following sentence “…Winstrol is chiefly utilized by athletes and bodybuilders. In bodybuilding world, the drug is combined with various other testosterone-based anabolic steroids. It is a DHT- derivative and is commonly used for cutting cycles.” – ummm…is it derived from DHT or is it testosterone based. The amazing thing is that the author managed to contradict him (or her) self in consecutive sentences.
Clomid says “Clomid is a well-known fertility drug that is sold under the brand name of Clomiphene Citrate” – as a point of fact, the BRAND name is Clomid, and the generic name is Clomiphene Citrate – not vice/versa.
Of course, there are many, many more errors to be found in the new profiles on EliteFitness.com, but I thought I’d get into some of the more obvious ones. They’re really a steaming pile of garbage, and virtually unreadable – except where they’ve stolen my ideas and work, in which case they’re still unreadable, but correct.
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